Sunday, September 30, 2012

Defiled !

The sun is setting as the last of the locals make their way into the church for the emergency village meeting. The mayor, resplendent in green and yellow pork pie hat and his new beige cardigan, clears a path to the altar and calls for silence. He does this three times before the hubbub dies down.

'' It's an outrage ! " says the old farmer . ' We have been defiled , violated ! ' says the little lady in the purple hat and coat somewhat overexcitedly. '' This is not acceptable, not acceptable , simply not acceptable " says the deputy mayoress as if repeating a mantra. The noise swells. The furniture is pushed aside so that everyone can get a better look at the offending alteration. The mayor pulls up a chair, stands on it and  points towards the brown square. He is  not very steady on his feet and the chair is not very sturdy so Madame Mayor quickly orders him down before he does himself any damage. After thirty minutes it is agreed that a letter must be written to the authorities about this 'mutilation'. A meeting will be held next week to draft the letter.

While the villagers work themselves up into a revolutionary frenzy Angus explores the church . It would seem that the restoration of Joan of Arc is now finished. The good news is that her skin has lost its alarming green kryptonite glow. The bad news is that she has also lost her shapely curves and now looks more like Grizzly John than Saintly Joan. Angus notes that the inscription '' She was called by God to Rouen to rid France of the dreaded English " has not been painted over.Political correctness clearly does not extend to ' les rosbifs '.

The great dame of the English stage arrives for her annual visit. We head off for dinner at a restaurant fifteen miles away. The great dame only drinks champagne. '' Good champagne " she says pointedly as Angus studies the wine list. The local French at the adjoining tables look on in surprise as our dinner guest then  launches into a loud and unerringly accurate impression of Shirley Maclaine in Steel Magnolias.


  1. Humour, the spice of life.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

    SHE can quote Ouiser, too.

  2. Maggie Smith - Judie Dench - Vanessa Redgrave??? A little hint please. Had "national" opera treasure of Russia for dinner - she loved my pesto - ate three helpings - when she goes back she will be even more precious!
    Dogs behaved wonderfully and very comically all evening - greetings from Southern Italy susanne, Daisy, Foxiie and Kiri

  3. Yes, please tell: Smith? Dench? Redgrave? We won't breathe a word!!!

  4. I still stand on the side of preserving history over political correctness. Poor Joan!

    It sounds like your dinner was lively and entertaining! :)

  5. Thank goodness that a riot did not ensue in the church during that emergency meeting.
    Another meeting to draft the letter to the authorities in another the pace of life there.
    Dinner with a tell.

  6. i say it was dame maggie! now if you had just invited madame bay too . . . LOL!
    wonderful champagne company!

  7. That is a really gorgeous ceiling, think that is called groin vaulted? Always thought that kind of ceiling is so pretty but the term or name for it, no so pretty Dear oh dear, such upset over Joan of Arc becoming post menopausal!

    1. Oh and if it were Helen Mirren I would think that fantastic, I LOVE her . .but I don't think the term "dame" applies at all, think she is still every bit a siren, albeit a very sophisticated siren who easily outshines a lot of the young actresses on the red carpet everytime. Nope it can't be Helen, she is no dame.

  8. Defiled indeed! What is going on here? Do those women realize that this restoration carries the heart and soul of a village whose terrible loss remains fresh in their hearts?
    We know the font will find just the perfect way to get everything back on track. Swedish sensibility, as you always say.

  9. How come things are always defiled, but never filed? :)