Tuesday, June 19, 2012

That was stupid !



Hot , cloudy and humid . Chattahoochee weather . The sort of day to head off to the air conditoned supermarket . Angus loads the shopping in the back of the car. Everything safely stowed, he slams the tail gate shut. The car then locks itself . Angus outside. The shopping inside . The keys hanging temptingly from the ignition . " Did you mean to do that ? " asks 'the font'.

Forty five minutes on the phone to various breakdown garages . '' I've locked myself out of the car ". Finally , one of them calls back to say they'll send someone over  . ' He'll be with you straight away ' . An hour later he arrives . An overly hirsute young man . He looks at the car, looks at Angus and then says ' That was a stupid thing to do ' .

An hour spent prising doors and windows open. The old Volkswagen proving to be the Fort Knox of the automotive world. The young man forces a small gap between the window and the door frame and  manages to pull the keys out of the ignition using a long piece of coated wire. He then drops the keys under the drivers seat. ' I can't reach them now '. Angus bites his lip . At this very minute the gendarmes arrive in a little Peugeot with flashing blue lights. '' Allo. Allo. What's going on here ? " .

Ten minutes of increasingly terse conversation while Angus explains that his identity documents are in the car. The gendarmes seem to view this answer with ' I've heard that line before ' suspicion. Finally, the mechanic and 'the font' convince them that yours truly is not trying to steal a battered old Volkswagen with white dog hairs embedded in the upholstery and a tell tale circular mark on the rear seat where a family pooch once had an ' accident '. Angus helpfully points out that if he was going to steal a car he'd choose the silver BMW parked in the next aisle over. ' The font ' gives him that ' stop talking while you're ahead ' look.  The police finally leave . The older of the two laughs and says " that was a really daft thing to do ". Angus bites his lip. 

After another thirty minutes,  the hairy mechanic manages to pick the lock. We pay him an extortionate  $200 and he goes . " You won't make that mistake again " he says using the tone of voice normally reserved for talking to a four year old who's just fallen off a bike. 

Home . Madame Bay says " you've been away for hours . Did you have a good time ? " . ' The font ' replies that Angus has made it a most interesting morning. No sign of the electricians .

33 comments:

  1. Thank goodness I have never done anything like that! Ever! :)

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  2. Thank you, you made me laugh so much with that post!!!!

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  3. Thank goodness that your breakdown garages at least arrive more promptly than your electrician....

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  4. Hilarious, but not so hilarious when your ice-cream is melting in the car and the dog is melting in the boot, which is what happened to me, many years ago.
    However, there was a swift happy ending. The AA turned up within 15 minutes and with two jabs of a metal ruler the driver's door was undone. It was a Renault !!

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  5. Thank goodness our car will not lock if the keys are sensed to be inside. The wonder of modern electronics. But I felt your pain!!

    Rubie's mum.

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  6. We've all been there. Next time find a 15-year-old delinquent , he'll be in in a tick.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

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  7. Oh goodness that is a trip that won't be forgotten in a hurry. Hope the shopping survived!

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  8. How awful for you! I hope your food was okay! You would think those gendarmes had something more important to do than stand around harassing hot, frustrated foreigners!! Hope you enjoyed a nice cold beverage when you arrived home.

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  9. Oh no! I hope you did not have any frozen foods (ice cream, etc.) in there! Of course, any fresh meat items might not be so 'fresh' after spending that much time locked in a hot car. Ah, the adventures of grocery shopping!

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  10. Beautifully written & the comedic finish provided by Madame Bay. Thanks for the morning laugh!

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  11. Elinor in FloridaJune 19, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    From experience, I have learned to carry an extra set of keys in my purse when travelling with my husband. When on my own -- thank God for AAA!!!

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  12. Been there, done that. Took the BMW mechanic four hours to dismantle the back end of the car to get in via the boot (apparently BMW has a double-locking system - who knew?) Now I carry the spare set of keys in my handbag and the emergency key is at home. It isn't something one does twice.

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  13. ahhh...I HATE that sinking feeling when in a split second you realize "I JUST LOCKED MYSELF OUT" {whether it's the house OR car}...argh...you are already telling yourself how STUPID you are and then someone else feels the need to chime in with you. grrrr.... Once again, you have made us laugh at your misadventures...or maybe misfortune I should say, with that final tally!! !!!!!! O.O ouch. My grandmother always used to say, and I do recall it many times in my life..."You either have to cry, or laugh about it, and I choose to laugh!" :-) Thanks for the daily laugh!!

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  14. That is not how any one wants to end a trip to the store. Never a dull day with you and "the font." Hope the rest of the week will be smooth for you.

    While waiting for two pons to come to your house and you start a new blog about them, I found a blog about a new pon. This is the first one I have found other than the one you wrote. They just lost a pon and are keeping a puppy that they were selling. This is the blog, merlinpon.vuodatus.net

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  15. Someone I know would take the dogs to the store and leave the motor running with air on and then lock the door, come back out and the dogs are looking at him like what's the matter Daddy get in the truck we are cold. This happened more than once.

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  16. That was an expensive trip to the shops! Hope there was not any ice cream in there!

    Enjoy your day!

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  17. Ah, people can be so helpful sometimes! How do they know exactly when you need to hear a certain comment?

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  18. Ah, try it in the winter sometime, when snow and winds are blowing about 30 mph. The kid is right too, you won't do this again, ever. You'll have an extra key made and stick it in your wallet. There, I bet you feel better already.

    Jo

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  19. Don't really want to laugh at your unfortunate incident, but I can't help it...your words were written with such humour.
    Young folks always like to get one up on us (older generation) so to speak, so you made the young man's day..story-wise and monetary wise..what a rip-off.
    I keep a spare car key in my purse, and others are stored at home and with two trusted friends.
    The gendarmes greeting of "Allo Allo" reminded me of one of my favourite old British comedies with the same name....
    Hope there was no coconut icecream in your grocery items melting away.
    Virginia
    P.S. Gotta love The Font's "dry wit"...Did you mean to do that??

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  20. Don't really want to laugh at your unfortunate incident, but I can't help it...your words were written with such humour.
    Young folks always like to get one up on us (older generation) so to speak, so you made the young man's day..story-wise and monetary wise..what a rip-off.
    I keep a spare car key in my purse, and others are stored at home and with two trusted friends.
    The gendarmes greeting of "Allo Allo" reminded me of one of my favourite old British comedies with the same name....
    Hope there was no coconut icecream in your grocery items melting away.
    Virginia
    P.S. Gotta love The Font's "dry wit"...Did you mean to do that??

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  21. Angus, THANKS for the grin on a day when I needed it--I'm just sorry that it is at your expense in more ways than one!

    (by the way, I've done the same thing and found out the 2nd time it happened that it is covered under my car insurance as 'emergency road service)

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  22. I once received a call from "someone" who had locked their key in their car - still idling at the pump, thank you - at a station 35m/56km way. After much yelling, certainly not by me, I drove the key out. I don't know if "someone" learned a lesson but I surely did.
    No boys inside so all is well that ends well.....I guess.

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  23. Even though I can't be locked out of my old Civic, I still have moments of panic when the door shuts.

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  24. The way you exlplain the whole irritating scenario is really, really funny and NO the gendarmes didn't really say that? The Allo Allo thing! HA HA! I wonder if they say the French version of "Evening All" as a way of greeting later in the day.

    I am sure many of your groceries were ruined, what with the heat. You didn't mean to do that, did you?

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  25. Poor Angus, you are not alone. I came home from shopping and got out to open the gate. I must have hit the switch in the door climbing out. The car, still running, was locked with my handbag in it, so no house key to get in to get the spare car key and no cell phone. Everyone else in the family was at work.

    I had to leave the running car sitting in the driveway and walked down to a neighbour's place. She kindly gave me tea and sympathy until my husband come home. We live in the country so not too many witnesses.

    Sandra

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  26. It happens.. *LOL*.. to me twice :) but my sister is quite good at unlocking doors with steel rulers :) she's a pro after locking herself out a few times too many.

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  27. "Did you mean to do that?" was the funniest line of them all. Being called stupid and daft all in one morning... oh my.

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  28. Sometimes we make our own entertainment, don't we?
    "Chattahoochee weather". Yes, it's here today.

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  29. angus.
    you are missing a small fortune.
    your life is hollywood's dream reality show!!!
    i have never watched the horrid kardashian's hair dry.
    but i can only imagine they would find your village adventures
    and the font's dry humour a gold mine.
    just think... hmmmm.... no more men in dark suits!
    you'd of course have cameras all over your house and microphones
    under your noses.
    come to think of it. cancel the idea.
    hugs to my lad,
    tammy j

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  30. yep, this has happened to me a few times too....once somebody went 100 miles home with my keys (only set) in their pocket and once i locked the doors while the engine was still running..aren't i clever!!??

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  31. No one in France ever locks their keys in their car??? I'm shocked! What a superior people!

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